Dear readers: Sara and I stumbled across this and six days later we’re still not sure what to think of it. When you come across a green product as useless as this, it’s easy to be rendered speechless. Fortunately, at least for us, this doesn’t last long. Here, we share our thoughts. Please do share yours.
We present to you the Umbrella Pot by Kyouei Design. It claims to conserve water by reusing the rainwater cast off by your umbrella to nourish the plant growing in a small pot at its base.
Kim: I’ll say it until I’m green in the face. Useless objects manufactured using sustainable materials are still…useless. You can twist and turn it a million eco-friendly ways, but I’ll continue to ask the same question. Why use the resources, waste the energy, create the carbon emissions to create and sell an unnecessary, frivolous product?
Sara: I didn’t realize this was a problem that needed solving but it makes sense if you think about it. Now I’m wondering what else around my place needs help. What if I’m letting stray dust bunnies escape when they could be of service? I think I get them all but there is that space behind the fridge. Perhaps there’s a special implement to help capture these wayward fluffaluffs? Eco-friendly of course.
Kim: The Umbrella Pot is a “low-maintenance way to keep a small plant”, but only if rain is falling and your umbrella is wet. It won’t help you in the least when the weather is dry. Yes, it’s made of eco-friendly and non-toxic ceramic. Spectacular. It also costs almost $800, which is a lot of dollars spent to capture a few drops of water. Has anyone tried putting indoor plants outdoors during a rainstorm and letting them catch the rain all on their very own? Brilliant, no?
Sara: The only challenge I see with an umbrella stand like this is that unless you plan to sport an equally pricey umbrella, you’ll just feel lame. It’s like parking your Porsche on Van Ness and wondering why it keeps getting dinged. (This happens to me all the time. So annoying!) The contents have to fit the container. Which means a Chanel umbrella at least. What’s Gucci doing for spring showers?
Kim: Have we lost all sense in our attempt to go green? Has the ozone layer fried the sector of the brain in charge of discernment? Or maybe we’ve been waterlogged by acid rain?
Sara: You’re so in luck! Could I interest you in a very stylish eco-friendly pot to catch your acid rain?
Kim: Here’s a suggestion. If you can say kitchen pot, you can save rainwater”¦the old fashioned way. Put one of your pots outside with your umbrella draining in it. Already own an umbrella stand? Let your umbrella drain in it, then pick it up and pour the excess water into any of your plants.
Sara: Kim, as an employee we value your contributions. Your idea has been submitted to management and will be reviewed, possibly this year. In the meantime, we recommend purchasing an umbrella stand that is eco friendly, like the Umbrella Pot.
The verdict: Waterlogged. If your current umbrella stand still functions, use it. If your life lacks an umbrella stand, well, TRAGIC is not the first word that comes to mind.